How To Deal With A Breakup
Ah, it's like one day everything is great and then it crashes down and the relationship ends. Every human being experiences a breakup, whether it be with a partner or just a friend and it can be an extremely difficult time where you question your part in it and what you could have done differently. Let me just start with this, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. I have learned that in life, there's a blessing in disguise no matter how horrific the situation may seem. There is light at the end of the tunnel!
When I was in a relationship with my ex, I truly thought that we would be together forever. Being a teenager in high school (I was 14 when my relationship began and 18 when it ended), I would often think "Wow, I'm so lucky to have found my soulmate so early on in my life". I was naive and completely in love and I lost sight of what was important for myself due to my desire to satisfy my ex at all times. Now, I won't say I was completely innocent throughout the entire relationship but I tried my best with the knowledge that I possessed at the time. For most of the relationship we were on and off, and it seemed that breaking up was just a natural occurence between us.
One day, we really broke up, like really really broke up for the first time and he started to see someone else. I literally thought that my entire world was crashing down on me. I experienced heartbreak for the first time and I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming into my pillow, literally asking god why this was happening. My mom would find me in my bedroom, laying on the floor with tears running down my eyes. (Needless to say it was BAD) Thinking back on it now, it seemed a little dramatic but I was young and the first heartbreak is always the worst. (I reacted to what was happening based on what I knew at the time. I lacked experience and that is why I recommend exploring and getting to know yourself during your teenage years as well as your 20s!) I would imprison myself from the rest of the world until my friends and family decided that they would no longer allow me to do this to myself. Slowly but surely I began to live normal life and the real me was coming out from the depths of my misery. It took many short reconciliations and a couple of hookups with my ex until we both removed ourselves from each other's life. This time of seeing each other, even though we were broken up (He was out of a relationship at this point) was like picking the scab over and over and when we finally cut each other off, it felt like another breakup (though it wasn't as painful as the first time).
The healing process of a breakup is a scientific formula that cannot be explained with our five senses. I can vividly remember feeling as if I would never get over this breakup and I would forever be engulfed in misery. Today, I have reached a level of happiness that continues to surge as the days roll by. Getting to know myself is such an eye opening experience and one that has opened my heart to all that the universe has to offer. Surrounding yourself with positive, loving people, trying new things, treating yourself and having "Me" time is essential to dealing with a breakup. Also, you must always stay gracious no matter what your ex might be telling others. One thing I've learned is that whatever someone is telling others about you says more about them than it does about you. (Remember this, it'll keep you content with being the bigger person because with a reaction you are only giving all of your power to this person) Being the bigger person will allow you to heal quicker and focus all that energy on yourself as opposed to the other person. You chose to respect this person at one point and must honor all of the good that this person brought into your life no matter how badly things ended. (Well, sort of depends on the situation but this applies in my case LOL)
In the end, appreciate the lesson that life has taught you for now you can move on more experienced, more intelligent and with a greater understand of others in general. And trust that the exclusion of any person means that they no longer serve a purpose in your life and you can move on knowing that you have freed up a space for the right one!
If you're in need of any advice regarding relationships or anything in general, be sure to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org! I'll answer your questions on an "Advice By Vic" post. (You can choose to remain anonymous) Love ya!